When I say I love you

When I say I love you

I may be feeling strongly

and surely I ́m excited

you are fulfilling all my wishes...

For that, I ́m grateful!

my heart is laughing,

girl with a candy,

kissed and loved abundantly.

The grown up woman will speak now:

When I say I love you

I ́m making a vow

to make you feel important to me

every day, loved and cherished, valued.

I ́m seeing myself smiling at you in the mornings and kissing you to sleep

looking deep into your eyes

thanking you for another day you live.

When I say I love you

I mean I will bring you teas, 

medicines and kleenex 

every time you feel poorly or you are frankly sick.

I ́ll stroke your head sweetly

I ́ll be tired with a smiling face

I won ́t complain

I ́ll kiss your hands saying loving words 

I ́ll sing for you to heal.

When I say I love you, its a verb to be acted:

It means I will cook for you and set your table,

learn the recipe you like and mind ,as if it is me,

if you are hungry or in thirst.

When I say I love you

I mean I ́ll let you sleep

all you need

and I ́ll be happy if you take vacations,

 even from me.

It means I ́ll try to my best

to overcome my anger, my stress

to the point to be polite and kind to you 

even if I curse the world.

But of course it also means

I ́ll apologize

for every time my pain-body wins

and brings you hurt and sorrow.

I ́ll put our love above me

and try to bite my tongue

before blaming you for my discomfort.

When I say I love you

I know I ́m still far away from really loving you

but I ́m also thanking you for inspiring me so sweetly 

to be my very best.

I´m thanking you

for  wanting to be my love guinea pig,

to be my teacher of forgiveness

and patience, of letting go and blindness

to all your little quirks that annoy my ego

but make you so adorable to me.

When I say I love you

I mean I want to learn to serve you

 in better and worse

so you can develop! develop!

and reach your most authentic self! 

And honestly, stop calling it love

 when I only care to serve myself!

Marisol Achirica sept, 2022